It took a year from 3.11. It was first time that I felt a year such long, but also such short.
I took shelter from Maebashi city in Gunma prefecture to Sapporo in the end of June, 2011. As I look back, it seemed as if I was in a gray world before I took shelter a little less than four months ago. Information became complicated. I couldn’t judge what is right in the chaotic world. I was scared in anxiety, and I was working on PC lonely day after day. As I went out from my house, nothing is strange as usual. Radiation, the nuclear power plant after the accident…I was mentally cornered in the mood where I couldn’t say “I’m scared.” More and more I hated myself…
On the other hand, what was the color of the world after I took shelter to Hokkaido? Metaphorically speaking…dazzling white. Or, it might be rainbow color. Vivid and beautiful seven colors.
I took shelter to Sapporo where I didn’t have any friends and relations, but I was in cheerful days more than I imagined. It was lucky that I moved in a housing complex where victims of the earthquake gathered around. I’m physically challenged person who have several chronic sicknesses, and I went through the operation of uterine cancer just before going to Sapporo. So it was even reckless for me to take shelter to unfamiliar place with little child without my husband. However, mentally damaged people were closely supporting each other there. Especially, the mothers who took shelter with children could meddle with each other. When I or my children became sick, they presented stuffs for us. I soon made friends who can take care of my children. As they did for us, I did my best for such good friends.
Above all, I was so free there that I could say “I’m scared” about what I felt scary. And, how joyful I felt for doing ordinary things! Things like opening window and bathing in sunlight, breathing fresh air without wearing mask, and caring nothing about my children playing outside! I laughed and cried every day while I thanked and was impressed for such natural things.
Moreover, I was surprised at great care and hearty supporting from Sapporo and Hokkaido. Especially, I don’t know how I was supported by civic groups such as “Musubiba” and “W0elcome to Attakaido” both mentally and economically. I saw valuable activities that men worked on for men, but it was not patronizing. I wonder if it is disposition of people in Hokkaido. And the existence of the evacuees group “Michinoku-kai” was big for me. At first I was just supported from it, but half a year later from taking shelter, I could act myself as a member of Michinoku-kai.
Of course, our living after taking shelter in Sapporo was not easy. However, I got “treasures” in exchange for our hard time. After I and children lived in Hokkaido for four months, my husband quit his job and came to us. It is not easy to find a job, but I don’t regret about our decision. I’m proud of us that I acted to put our life and health before job and money.
Our living supported by mu husband’s income will be severe. I cannot work because of my handicap. My children may suffer from our poor living. But I believe that when they understand the meaning of our decision, they will forgive us. Even though they will not, I’ll be confident and say to them “I thought your health were most precious. This is how your mother live!”
I couldn’t stop writing this now because I have too many things that I want to write, or I have to.
I deeply thank to every people who met in Hokkaido. People in the housing complex, neighbors, the doctor and staffs in the hospital in front of our house, people of Musubiba and Michinoku-kai, workers in the Hokkaido government office, people in Hokkaido including Sapporo, and…
Thanks to everyone, I, husband, and children are living now. I can look forward. We want to bow and say to them with loud voice, “Thank you!”